Realms of the Soul

  Toni, the main character in the book, is a representation of the universal child, any child who has suffered, or is suffering. Wherever we live we all have names in our heads of children who have gone missing or been murdered. We all have pictures in our minds of children neglected and abused, on the streets sniffing glue, in sweatshops, working when they should be playing, children with tummies swollen by hunger, maimed in war, orphaned, with AIDS. Possibly the only image that we don’t have is that of the child who suffers mental abuse; the scars are deep but invisible and can destroy a life.

  Although this book is written in English, (with English or American expressions), I don’t want to prejudice the reader into placing the book into one particular setting, in one particular country. Just as Toni represents all suffering children so the city represents the cities of the world, the cities of man, human life.

  Believe the story, believe it is real, for although the setting and the characters are fictional, the children of our world are not; so many are suffering and their suffering is not imaginary.

  While writing this book I experienced many strange synchronicities, music and songs seemed to pop up at appropriate points in the story. Even now, the synchronicities continue, the little dragon (see the youtube video of Side Streets by Vangelis, in Chapter One) is a perfect example, at the end of the book the connection will be clear. Writing this novel was indeed a journey which led to another world, this is why it has to be read and listened to in real time, as a live experience.  For me, Toni lives. She lived a long time in my imagination and now I see her everywhere I see a suffering child; she represents any child who has been denied the simple joy of childhood.

“If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and heartbeats.”

                                           Richard Bach - ‘Illusions’

  I had a wonderful childhood in an idyllic village in England, full of love and support. I remember waking up each morning with enthusiasm for life deep in my heart; life was urgent, we had to play. During the summer holidays when we couldn’t decide on a game, we hurried ourselves with the thought that the seconds were ticking away, there was no time to waste. Yet writing this book has taken me on a journey, the same journey as Toni, through fear to joy. It was impossible not to go through it all with her, in my dreams and in my waking life. We all have fears and the time has come to confront them, just as Toni confronts hers.

  The time has come for release. To free ourselves we have to feel the emotions that we deny; we have to open up and let them flow, then, and only then, can we let them go. While writing, music would accompany me, almost haunting me, stirring up emotions and adding atmosphere and poignancy to events; the tracks included weren’t carefully chosen, they just happened. Songs and music follow us through life almost like a commentary, our lives are a mix of physical and mental sensations, sounds, images and feelings. Listen to the melodies and ponder the words of the songs. Lose yourself in the emotions, sensations and images that the music and the lyrics create.

  So now I ask you, dear reader, to accompany Toni on her journey. She believes she is alone in her suffering; convince her she isn’t, go with her. In the last few years, the most important thing I’ve learnt is that we are never alone; there is always help if we are open to it. We must have faith in life and in ourselves, we have to believe. Toni’s struggle is our struggle, the struggle with the lies we tell ourselves, and their consequences. Toni represents ourselves, as the victims we sometimes make ourselves:

  Our individual stories, the things that happen to us, big and small, all make up the whole. We are honoured for being here and for taking part. Our dramas, our joys, our disasters and our laughter form the chapters of the greatest novel ever written, The Story of Humanity. In The Photograph, humanity’s voyage, through exploitation and fear to awakening and empowerment, is reflected in one person’s journey. Thank you for taking the time to read this book. Toni’s dream is to make a difference; giving expression to Toni by writing The Photograph, helped to realise her dream. By looking inward and finding our truth we will realise ours.

Toni exists; she is real — a contradiction? A paradox? Can a fictional character born in the realms of imagination exist? Read, listen and experience her story.

 A few words from Toni......